You’ll never guess what new holiday tradition I’m starting this year

As a new package car driver for UPS, I’ve been assigned to a particular training route for a 30-day trial period. I call it ‘the box,’ as it’s a perfect square about .75 miles on each side; perfectly flat, laid out in a simple grid.

But inside this box is an amazingly rich and diverse combination of businesses and residences. It contains a representative slice of my city. Perhaps of any city of comparable size.

Let’s start with commercial establishments:

• Retail – multiple banks and credit unions.
• Restaurants – American and various ethnic cuisines, including Mexican and Asian. (No fast food, but they’re just outside the box – unless you count two drive-up coffee stands.)
• Stores – national big-box chains and mom-and-pops. (Adjacent to the box is one of the city’s two major shopping malls.)
• Several auto repair and body shops.
• A handful of insurance agents.
• Multiple hair salons. Multiple nail salons.
• At least one gas station.
• Two mattress stores in the same shopping plaza.
• Two specialty grocery stores.

There’s also health care, and plenty of it:

• The main hospital north of downtown.
• An adjacent imaging facility.
• Medical offices galore – every specialty.
• Two urgent cares.
• At least three physical therapy offices.
• At least three eye care offices.
• More dental and orthodontics offices than I can count.
• Pediatrics.
• OB/GYN.
• Dermatology and plastic surgery.
• Cardiology, gastroenterology, orthopedics.
• Chiropractors.
• Cancer care.
• Behavioral health.
• Autism analysis.
• At least three labs where you can get your blood drawn.
• A managed-care clinic.
• A 24-hour pharmacy, plus various smaller pharmacies inside medical buildings.

Rounding things out are businesses that I’d never had occasion to set foot in before:

• Two marijuana dispensaries (plus two more just outside the box).
• A marijuana testing lab – who knew there was such a thing?
• At least three addiction recovery facilities.
• A pawn shop.
• A plasma donation center.
• A cremation services company.
• A Rent-a-Center.

I get to see the backstage areas of familiar retail and health care environments. You might not believe how large and labyrinthine these spaces are, out of sight from customers but quite familiar to employees. As a UPS driver I have almost complete access to these hidden parts of offices and stores, and many a restaurant kitchen.

I know of at least one church in the box. I’m surprised there aren’t more.

Children are in the box. There’s at least three early childhood care facilities, one public elementary school and one public middle school. All are open pretty much full-time throughout the week. I encounter children in the windows and doorways and yards of living spaces as well.

Older adults are also here. I’ve delivered to no fewer than three long-term care facilities. Plenty more reside in houses and apartments in the box. And of course they consume much of the health care being provided here, so I encounter them in parking lots, hallways, and waiting areas.

Living spaces in the box are just as richly diverse as working spaces. Single-family houses, duplexes, multi-family buildings, apartment buildings. More varied and plentiful than one would expect in such a confined area. There are even a few small homeless camps and cars that are obviously being lived in.

More remarkable than what’s stationary is what’s on the move. Movement is constant in the box during my workdays. I may be the only UPS package car driver here but I encounter multiple USPS letter carriers, FedEx drivers, and legions of others transporting people or things in, out, and around. DoorDash and other on-demand food deliverers; Uber and Lyft, MedTran (taking people to and from medical appointments); office supply deliverers: trash haulers and recyclers; secure shredders; laundry services; and on and on. It boggles the mind.

It’s like Downton Abbey, except instead of one big manor in the English countryside where everyone lives and works together, nowadays working and living are spread across many multiple spaces.

I’m struck by how many people, be they ‘stationary’ – that is, those having particular work stations – or constantly on the move, are service providers. Myself included. Male and female, young and old, white and nonwhite. We are a veritable army of service workers.

Ours is truly a service economy. Some, like me, are paid well for our services, but many – most – are not. Some enjoy guaranteed full-time work, but many – most – are part-time and/or seasonal, or are subject to the vagaries in demand for their labor.

Some, like me, are acknowledged and appreciated for our efforts. Just today I received several verbal compliments and gratitude for what I do. But sadly, many – most – are taken-for-granted, invisible.

And of course we know that some recipients of our services go beyond neglect. Verbal and occasionally physical abuse, even sexual harassment are commonplace among service workers. Many – most – have no choice but to put up with these harms and indignities, often because our options are limited and may not promise any escape.

Open your eyes. Notice the many people who provide services for you. Who serve you. We are, in a very real sense, your servants – though the word seems archaic and has fallen into disrepute (except where preceded by the word ‘public’). See us. Acknowledge us. Appreciate us.

You don’t know our story, unless you know our story. Figure out ways to get to know our story.

I recently encountered a man in a lab coat in a medical building, and I had to stifle the urge to tell him, I’m a doctor too! I’m just as human as you are, and just as important – doctor or no. But I didn’t, so we just walked past each other in civil inattention.

Respect us. This includes treating us with dignity, but perhaps more importantly, it involves paying us a livable wage.

I know there are multiple opinions on this, and its history is troubling, but I believe it’s never a bad idea to tip for service. The person you want to tip may resist or refuse – and of course that’s their right – but I believe that most people most of the time will accept your gratuity as a way of being seen and respected.

For some types of services we tip every time we receive that service. But for other types of services, we only tip during the holiday season – ostensibly to recognize service for an entire year. I suppose that’s better than not tipping at all, but I would argue in favor of tipping every time year-round, for two main reasons.

The first reason has to do with the person we’re tipping. They need and deserve it all year long. It’s the money, yes, but it’s also the recognition.

The second reason has to do with us as tippers. The practice of tipping regularly cultivates generosity and an awareness of how our lives are connected to, and enriched by, the people who serve us. We cannot do what we do, were it not for that army of servants actively serving us. The word gratuity sounds a lot like gratitude.

In my current job I’m both a servant and one being served. So far I’ve received one Starbucks card from a regular residential customer, which I’ve passed on to the route’s usual driver, Calvin. (I wasn’t even tempted to keep it, as I don’t drink coffee.) That same customer sets out a basket of various snacks and drinks for all drivers delivering to their address. Whenever I stop there I always grab a bottle of PowerAde to stay hydrated. I’m always touched by acts of kindness like this one.

Meanwhile, for as long as I’m on my training route I have a regular person who’s responsible for loading my truck. My success as a driver each day depends directly on her work during the preload shift, so I’m grateful that she takes care to load my truck so well.

UPSers get paid weekly, so I’ve been giving her a modest tip each payday. For the first couple of weeks I just slipped it into her bag because I didn’t want to make it awkward – for me or her or for the other drivers and loaders nearby who might see or hear.

But lately I’ve started handing it to her directly, telling her that I wish I could do more. This gave her a chance to respond. She told me that she likes loading for me because I acknowledge and appreciate her. Which is exactly how I felt when drivers complimented my work as a preloader, though I never expected or received a tip.

So this holiday season I’m starting a new tradition. I’m tipping those who serve me. I’m tipping them now, and I plan to tip them throughout the year. I realize that tips are no excuse or substitute for employers to pay less than a livable wage. But I want to see how much it opens up space for meaningful connection, and how it might change my life and others’. I may not be able to tip much, but it might surprise me how big an impact a modest amount can have.

May I suggest, the secret of Christmas

It’s not the things you do at Christmas time

But the Christmas things you do all year through

Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen, ‘The Secret of Christmas,’ 1959